Monday, August 9, 2010

THE DUMBEST TEXTS / TWEETS / IM’s THAT PEOPLE SEND

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This whole message sending phenomenon has gotten WAY out of hand. Twitter, cell phones, and instant messaging software have all become “Weapons Of Stupidity”. Here you have all this fantastic technology, and ironically, it’s being used in the hands of insipid IDIOTS. There’s a saying…..”Idle hands are the Devil’s Playground”. Well, here’s one that I made up…..”Cell phones, Twitter, and IM programs are the IDIOT’S playground”. People are sending out messages that are too boring and DUMB to even send out in regular e-mails. I’ve had to change my cell number a FEW times because of people that get it and wanna send out these texts that are pure stupidity and meaninglessness. Well, being the “revealer of all things IGNORANT”, I decided to put together a list of some of the MOST ignorant, imbecilic, and just plain MORONIC messages that have ever been sent to ME. I can’t remember all of them, as this nonsense has been going on for YEARS, but I have a collection stored on my cell phone and on Twitter of some of the most memorable ones that have been sent to me over the past year or so. Everyone reading this will be able to relate I’m SURE, and MANY of you are the FOOLS who send out some of these to others. Here’s a word of advice for those of you that have sent any of these out……..STOP IT, DUMMY! They’re a waste of energy! Ok, here’s the list. If you like them, send your friends to my blog so they can read them too!



“I’M AT THE GYM, WORKING OUT”

WHO GIVES A FUCK! What makes you think that other people want to know that you’re sweating and grunting….unless you’re FUCKING, and if THAT’S the case then send PICS with your message!



“I JUST WOKE UP”

I wake every day too, DUMMY! Do I think the entire WORLD wants to hear about that?



“I’M GROCERY SHOPPING RIGHT NOW”

Every one of us that EATS goes grocery shopping. Most people are bored by the event, but YOU seem to take PLEASURE in it, enough so to tell your entire mailing list.



“I’M BORED”

Not as bored as you just made ME by sending me that DUMB ASS message telling me how bored you are…



“IT’S HOT/COLD/RAINING”

I already get weather forecasts sent to me. Unless you’re witnessing a weather PHENOMENON like a tornado, hurricane, lightning storm or something on THAT level, then keep your fuckin weather info to YOURSELF.



“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”

If I wanted you to know what I was doing at any given time, you’d already KNOW because it would have been ME messaging YOU, telling you what I was doing.



“I JUST SAW THE MOVIE. THE WAY IT ENDS IS……”

HAVE YOU LOST YOUR FUCKIN MIND?! Don’t send me a message telling me how a movie ends that I haven’t even SEEN yet!



“I’M ON MY WAY TO WORK”

Good. Hopefully you get in a car accident while texting and driving, then your DUMB ASS will think twice before sending out a meaningless message that nobody else even cares about.



“TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!!”

Unless you and I know each other enough to be together to celebrate your birthday in PERSON, then I really don’t know you enough to give a FUCK about it being your birthday.



“I JUST BOUGHT A NEW CAR!”

If I’m broke as a joke, and you’re out buying new cars, what makes you think that you buying a new car is going to make ME feel any happier?



"DAMN I LOOK GOOD!”

Actually, you don’t look good. You look like a narcissistic pain in the ass that’s so stuck on yourself that you need to get the entire world’s attention by sending out a message like that in hopes that someone will kiss your attention whoring ass with a reply.



“I’M SO HUNGRY!”

I’ll bet you sent this one as you were standing in front of your refrigerator. The fact that you’re so hooked on texting that you had to carry your cell with you to the fridge shows just how pathetic you really are.



“I’M ON MY WAY TO THE CLUB!”

If I had a nickel for every tweet, IM, or text sent out about someone bragging about the fact that they were on their way to a club, I’d be a multi millionaire. If I’m not the person that’s going WITH you to the club, or gonna meet you AT the club, what makes you think I give a shit about you GOING to the club?



“CHECK OUT THE NEW PICS OF MYSELF I JUST POSTED!”

NO. Fuck you AND your new pictures, that is, unless you’re a female and you’re NUDE, or MINIMUM wearing a thong in them.



“I FEEL NAUSEOUS, LIKE I’M GONNA BE SICK”

And you think I wanted to KNOW that shit? Let me guess. IF you so happen to puke, you’re going to send out a tweet pic of you groping a vomit filled toilet, right?



“I’M SO TIRED!”

Yes people, I’m not kidding you. There are people that send out texts and tweets that are THIS boring, simply saying that they’re “tired”. I wish there was a way to tack an extra charge on texts sent out that are THIS unnecessary…….





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